When You Love Someone Let Them Go If They Come Back Then…

When You Love Someone, Let Them Go – What It Means If They Come Back

The old adage says that if you truly love someone, you should “let them go.” The full saying goes, “If you love someone, let them go.

If they come back, it means it was meant to be.” This romantic notion contains some truth, but what does it really mean?

What Does “Letting Someone Go” Entail?

  • Letting someone go doesn’t necessarily mean ending the relationship entirely. It means giving them the freedom to live their life without being clingy or possessive.
  • It means having an open hand – if they want to leave, you don’t restrict them. You trust them to make their own choice about whether to stay or go.
  • Letting go could look like:
    • Not obsessively calling/texting them if you don’t hear from them for a while
    • Giving them space to hang out with friends without you
    • Allowing them to pursue goals and hobbies they’re passionate about
    • Releasing control – not making demands or ultimatums

The idea is that you love them enough to let them be themselves, even if that means they might leave. You’re putting their happiness and autonomy above your own wish to keep them close.

Why “Let Them Go” In a Relationship?

There are a few reasons why letting someone go can be healthy in a romantic relationship:

1. Prevents codependency

Getting overly attached and controlling can be smothering. It takes away the other person’s freedom and space to be their own individual. Letting go keeps things healthy.

2. Allows you both to be sure

Letting some distance grow shows if you drift apart or feel drawn even closer. It’s a chance for both people to actively choose the relationship.

3. True love doesn’t demand possession

If you truly love someone, you want what’s best for them. Even if that means letting them go elsewhere, you put their well-being first.

+++Love should be freely given, not forcibly taken through demands and manipulation. Letting someone go shows you love in a selfless way.

What If They Come Back After You Let Them Go?

Here’s the romantic part – if you let someone go with a truly open hand, not secretly hoping they’ll come back, and they do return, it can be significant. Here are some things it can mean:

1. They feel free, not pressured

Since you gave them space with no expectations, if they choose on their own to return to you, it’s because they genuinely want to.

2. It reinforces their love for you

The time away reminded them how much they care for and miss you, rather than taking your love for granted.

3. They see you’re the right partner

They got to see what else was out there, but realized they connect best with you out of own choice, not due to force.

4. It can indicate long-term potential

If you’re able to release each other but still come back together multiple times, it shows enduring underlying attraction and love.

Essentially, letting someone go and having them return shows that your connection is strong enough to allow freedom, but you still prefer to be together out of mutual affection. It cements you as true partners, not dependent caretaker and passive recipient.

+++Absence often does make the heart grow fonder – letting someone go and give them the gift of missing you. If they reciprocate of their own accord, it bodes well.

How Long Do You Wait If You Let Someone Go?

There’s no set rule here – some people reconvene after weeks; some after many years. It depends on each person’s needs and the circumstances.

A few factors include:

  • The reasons behind needing space – are they tied to temporary situations now resolved, or fundamental differences time won’t change?
  • Whether either person would be moving on with other relationships – this can change the context
  • Individual emotions – anger, resentment over past hurts may still linger
  • Life stages – often with age and maturity perspectives can shift

Use your best judgment based on your history together and intuition. Some find it helpful to discuss a general expectation up front, while others prefer keeping things open-ended.

If it helps give closure, you can send a final message making clear you care for them but are letting them be free, and want their happiness even if apart. But beware of ever seeming like you’re trying to manipulate their return – let go without expectations.

Setting Them Free While Still Available

Some pull back extremely – they entirely disappear from their loved one’s life for a time. They want to give total freedom without even emotional ties influencing their ex.

Others maintain a lower level connection – reminding the person every so often they still care for them. They make clear they continue to wish them well in life in whatever form.

There are merits to both approaches. Pulling back fully gives the most unhindered choice. But periodically reaching out can indicate ongoing care and affection.

Determine what resonates best – just be sure not to pressure them. The key is always keeping an open hand, not secretly trying to make them return before they are ready.

Healthy Reasons To Let Someone Go

While the notion of setting someone free to see if they come back sounds highly romantic, don’t forget that sometimes space in relationships is just practically healthy.

+++ Reasons that have nothing to do with “testing” their love but just recognizing individual needs include:

  • Mental health needs – anxiety, depression – require time for self-care
  • Major life changes – school, jobs – mean tackling big adjustments
  • Family emergencies – health issues, loss – demand focused support

Letting someone go through struggles, knowing they may drift away for an indefinite time period, takes sincere loving sacrifice too. Consider your motives when giving space.

FAQs About Letting Someone Go

Some common questions around giving romantic partners freedom:

How do I deal with missing them?
Focus on self-care, friends, pursuing new goals – things besides the relationship that nourish you. Feel emotions but don’t obsess.

What if they don’t come back and I regret letting go?
Some relationships still aren’t meant for the long haul no matter what. Have comfort that you gave it real chance by setting them free.

What if they come back but I’ve moved on?
Then you’ve outgrown the relationship – kindly share you care for them but have found new direction. Honor what once was.

How long do I wait after letting go before seeing others? Differs for everyone – let your conscience guide you if emotionally ready for something new.

Should I directly ask “Are we getting back together eventually?” Give it time first – have more interactions to organically sense if reconciliation is ahead. Discuss once reestablished.

In Conclusion

When you love someone deeply, setting them free ultimately shows trust and selfless care for their well-being. If they independently decide to return after a time apart, it often signifies:

  • Lasting affinity binding you together
  • Appreciation for positive traits they rediscovered in your absence
  • Confidence in choosing you as their preferred partner

Yet even if they move on for good, you can have peace knowing you valued their goals and autonomy – never chaining their heart when you let them go.

Wherever life takes you both, true love stays wishing the other well.

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